Monkey See, Monkey Do

Remember when I said Australia catches a cold when America sneezes? Apparently our immune system is even weaker than I thought.

It’s been less than a week since Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 47th President of the United States. In that short time, he’s issued hundreds of Executive Orders that range from the incomprehensibly jingoistic to the utterly unworkable to the unbelievably vicious. People watched in horror as he began to systematically dismantle protections, rights, and services.

And here in Australia?

Well, first of all we had our Foreign Minister, Penny Wong, engage in ritual genuflection to the rule of a man who had just decreed that – among other things – no one was ever allowed to learn anything positive about LGBTQIA+ folk ever again. What’s that, you say? She didn’t have a choice, she had to toe the line? It wasn’t her place to speak out?

Rubbish.

Wong has the privilege of a position that few of us could hope to claim. She has direct access to power and media. She could have said flatly that many of Trump’s first decisions directly flew in the face of values Australian people have repeatedly voted to protect. If she really felt she needed to be diplomatic (read: cowardly) about it, she could have simply delivered a pro forma congratulatory message. Instead she fell all over herself to gush about what a great relationship Australia has with its big brother the USA, and how we were all looking forward to doing whatever we were told.

And those scary tariffs that Trump talked about imposing on every other country in the world? Nothing to worry about there, according to Wong. It’s a non-issue. It won’t happen. Next question.

Just to be clear that she wasn’t about to rock any boats, Wong also refused to answer questions from reporters about any possible effects of Trump’s assault on gender and diversity in the workplace.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was slightly less objectionable in his comments about the new Trump regime Presidency. He did issue a pro forma congratulatory message full of stock phrases. And, when asked, he made a point of reaffirming Australia’s commitment to mitigating climate change despite Trump’s Executive Order withdrawing the US from the Paris climate agreement. On all other issues, however, he’s been silent.

Notably, neither Albanese nor Wong ever came close to criticising any of Trump’s actions since inauguration. They even went out of their way to avoid mentioning them until confronted. It’s not exactly “silence = consent”, but it certainly sends a message that our highest government representatives are, at least, unwilling to risk confronting Trump and his MAGA minions.

If our Labor representatives were equivocal, then those on the other side of politics were happy to be seen as appeasers, if not outright bootlickers.

One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts couldn’t contain his glee on the platform formerly known as Twitter. Every new announcement of Trump’s latest brain fart was greeted with effusive praise, and an exhortation for Australia to do the same. This is just one example:

retrieved from X, 24/1/25

Not to be outdone, his leader, Senator Pauline Hanson, rushed out a media release in which she claimed that yes, Australia should immediately do what Trump did and exit the World Health Organisation. She also claimed credit for giving him the idea in the first place.

No, I’m not kidding. She actually titled the media release “One Nation’s demand to exit WHO embraced by Trump”. ( )

United Australia Party Senator Ralph Babet went even further, proclaiming that where Trump leads, “we will invariably follow”. He’s not just happy to catch America’s cold, he’s practically begging for Trump to sneeze all over him.

But hey, they’re the lunatic fringe of politics. We shouldn’t care what they say, should we? Even if they do sit on the cross-benches which are often crucial to passing legislation, they can’t do any real damage, right?

Wrong.

And then there is the Liberal-National coalition, whose reaction to these minor party Senators’ fawning embrace of Trump appears to have been, “hold my beer”.

Take National Party leader David Littleproud, who wasted little time in embracing one of the most objectionable of Trump’s Executive Orders. He rushed to urge his senior Coalition partner, Liberal Party leader Peter Dutton, to immediately change Coalition policy to be in line with Trump’s delusional idea that there are two sexes and no more just because he said so.

“We just need to take a deep breath on this, it doesn’t need to get emotional. We just need to understand it also comes back to respect, it comes back to respecting that biological basis that we can’t get away from when we’re born,” Littleproud said.

Never mind that genetic studies have long established that there are more than two biological sexes. Never mind that gender is an entirely artificial construct that varies both between societies and throughout the history of those societies. Never mind that, despite what Trump may believe, he cannot, with the stroke of a Magic Marker, make reality conform to his whims.¹ Seriously, did you see those giant chunky pens he was using to sign the Executive Orders? I’m reliably informed they’re great to use to graffiti school furniture. Those are just piddling facts. What matters is that Trump is doing it, so Littleproud thinks we should, too.

Dutton shut that idea down pretty quickly.

Or did he?

You see, whatever else he may be, Dutton is a clever political operator. He knows his way around a weasel word. This is what he said when asked whether he’d take Littleproud’s advice:

“We don’t have any plans to change our position in relation to that issue.”

That’s not a no. That’s, “I just got handed a hot potato and here’s my meaningless stock answer so that you can’t accuse me later of going back on a promise”.

It’s probably not even a lie, technically speaking. What it is, though, is a door left open to be revisited closer to the official election campaign. But while he may not have any “plans”, Dutton has not shied away from embracing both Trumpian rhetoric and Trumpian lies.

In the same interview with loyal Coalition lapdog 2GB’s Ben Fordham where he swept aside Littleproud’s suggestion, he accused the Labor government of being “more interested in pronouns” than helping out the poor Aussie battler who just wanted to buy groceries.

News flash, Mr Dutton. You have pronouns. And I feel pretty confident in saying you’d kick up a fuss if someone called you “she”.

But it didn’t stop there. In praising Trump, Dutton called out specifically policies on “law and order and what’s required to keep our country safe”. Now, that’s pretty much a standard Liberal Party talking point, but in the context of a speech praising Trump? The man who just pardoned 1500 people convicted of taking part in a violent, attempted coup, and whose declared intention is to use law enforcement and the justice system to persecute his political enemies and terrorise immigrants? It starts to look a little less like ex-cop Dutton’s usual “police are awesome” flag-waving, and more like he might be in favour of authoritarian tactics.

Fresh from the soothing, nurturing atmosphere of Ben Fordham’s studio, Dutton went on to get pampered by millionaire YouTuber Mark Bouris on his “Straight Talk” podcast. There, as reported by news.com.au, Dutton unleashed a tirade of sexism and lies that, while not mentioning Trump by name, uncannily echoed the President’s wildest fantasies about equity and diversity in the workplace. Buckle up.

How oppressed young men are! They are so tired of being “painted as ogres”! They can’t even get a fair suck of the sauce bottle at work anymore, because CEOs are so scared of not being diverse enough! Why are all these women getting jobs that rightly belong to men?

I’m not even exaggerating.

In flat defiance of the most easily Google-able statistics, Dutton declared that the gender pendulum (what is that, and would it make a good accessory in my house?) had swung too far. Young men were being passed over for promotions, he asserted, and it was time to correct that.

Wow. Where do I start? Well, firstly, he’s lying. Take a look at the statistics for yourself. Women are by far under-represented in higher management and CEO positions. Dutton’s not stupid. He has to know what he’s saying is absolutely false. So what’s going on here?

Dutton blames affirmative action policies and “diversity hiring” for this entirely fictitious situation. The implication, of course, is that those hired under such policies are undeserving of employment, that merit has been sacrificed on the altar of diversity, and that men are suffering for it. Men – especially young men – “feel disenfranchised and feel ostracised.” Where have we heard that before?

You guessed it. Trump’s Executive Order, in which he declared that following principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion leads to incompetent people taking the jobs that they didn’t “really” qualify for. That undertaking affirmative action is necessarily “dangerous, demeaning, and immoral”.

Oh, and lest I leave you with the impression that Dutton telling Littleproud to pull his head in on transgender issues was some sort of indication that the Liberal leader wasn’t embracing transphobia … he made it very clear in his interviews that he embraced the lie that “activist teachers” are brainwashing children into becoming trans, and implicitly linked it with child sexual abuse.

Dutton, as I said, is a clever political operator. He’s very familiar with the tactic of dressing up unpalatable ideas with apparently “reasonable” rhetoric. But look at what he’s doing here. Not just spin – blatant lies. Not just suggestions that there might be a problem – outright sexism. The fact that he feels comfortable enough to say these things at all is alarming, and here he is not only saying them, but also adopting the lunatic talking points of a man who advocated drinking bleach to cure Covid-19.

These examples are not random politicians. They’re some of the most powerful, vocal, and influential elected officials in Australia, who hail from the nominally Centre Left to the Far Right. Some of them are cravenly refusing to speak against Trump’s actions – even when it is in the country’s interest for them to do so. Others are fawning at his feet and praising his wisdom. And still others are using Trump’s exercise of executive power as a playbook.

It’s only been four days. FOUR. DAYS. Already, they’re playing Monkey See, Monkey Do on some of the most egregious and dangerous of Trump’s actions. And we have no reason to think that’s about to change.

Sure, so far, the government hasn’t offered up its neck on the tariff chopping block. So far, Littleproud hasn’t asserted that boys are going to school and two days later are coming home as girls. So far, Dutton hasn’t stated that women are simply not capable of doing a “man’s work” (but he’s not far off). And who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise us and actually realise the kind of thinking they’re slowly embracing, and not drag the rest of us into the fascist nightmare that the US is rapidly becoming.

But remember, the first time Trump said he wanted to “end wokeness”, commentators everywhere laughed at the idea that he would ever do more than just complain about it. And look at where the US is now.

The Australian media has not challenged any of the politicians named above about their capitulation to Trump. And in this, they are failing one of the most crucial aspects of their job – to hold our elected officials to account. To not stop asking the question until they are given a real, substantive answer.

We cannot rely on the media. So it’s up to the rest of us to demand answers, whether through engagement with our Members of Parliament, involvement in politics at any level, amplifying the most marginalised vices, or direct action.

Above all, we need to remember that we are not the 51st state of the USA, no matter how much some of the stupider people out there wish we were. We are not obliged to play Monkey See, Monkey Do every time the madman currently installed in the White House decides to further damage the country that gave him all the privileges he enjoys today.

We’re Australians. We’re a gloriously mixed-up melting pot of cultures, indigenous and imported. We have everything we need to do better, to be better human beings and celebrate the best of us. Let’s not settle for adopting the worst.

UPDATE:

Peter Dutton isn’t just playing Monkey See, Monkey Do anymore. He appears to be actually trying to turn himself into Donald Trump’s Mini-Me. As reported by 6news just now, Dutton thinks that it might be a simply wonderful idea to add some American flavour to his cabinet reshuffle.

retrieved from X 25/1/25

Yes, you read that right. Dutton has tapped Jacinta Nampijinpa Price for a Shadow Ministry. Price, who viciously argued against an Indigenous Voice to Parliament, and spread outrageous lies about how it would destroy democracy as we know it.

Her new job? Shadow head for a Ministry that SIMPLY. DOES NOT. EXIST.

This is as pointless as it gets. There can be only one reason for Dutton to do this. He’s signalling to Trump, and to those in Australia who are so lacking in basic human decency as to be Trump supporters, that he’s on board.

It’s an as yet unanswered question whether Price will receive a salary loading for this even-less-than-purely-symbolic position. Even if she doesn’t, her appointment is not only a clear sign that Dutton is ready to adopt anything Trumpian, but also a slap in the face to Australia’s Indigenous peoples.